Square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don’t lose their shape

Stay with me on this one. There’s this company called LifeGem (based in Elk Grove Village, Illinois—if you’re from Illinois, and you’ve ever been to Elk Grove Village, this will make increasing sense as you read on) and what they do is take someone’s DNA, extract the carbon from it, and use it to make an artificial diamond. It’s kind of like that urn of ashes on the mantel that’s all that remains of your late Aunt Gladys, except in a form that can be mounted in a Tiffany setting. (Now I’m wondering if I could have my DNA coverted into industrial diamonds, and be permanently memorialized on the tip of a high-end drill bit for Arctic ice cores. But I digress.)

Well, as a publicity stunt, they’re making three diamonds from DNA extracted from Beethoven’s hair. The diamonds will be exhibited at various (as yet unannounced) “museums and opera houses” around the world, and then be auctioned off. Mount it on a ring, and maybe you’ll end up starring in your own real-life remake of The Beast With Five Fingers! The hair is being donated by John Reznikoff, who, according to their website, “holds the Guinness World Record for the largest and most valuable collection of celebrity hair”—which, as of now, is the new “Career Objectives” bullet point on my résumé.

Yep, a diamond made out of Beethoven’s hair. Take that, Communism!

(Via Marginal Revolution.)

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